


Catnip and Pomade

by MimiRoar



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-05-07 14:05:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5459141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MimiRoar/pseuds/MimiRoar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“"Now now doll, it ain’t like that at all, I can tell ya. My eyes just drift over there, I swear! ‘Sides, even if I did wanna be him, which I don’t…alright I won’t even finish that sentence.” Cronus responded while rolling his eyes and giving his usual silly accent while he spoke. He didn’t need this right now at all."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Feelings Are For Losers

**Author's Note:**

> What happens when a crack rarepair becomes your favorite ship and nothing is made about it? Well, this.

Cronus Ampora wasn’t known for being “friendly”. In fact he was terrible and couldn’t really grasp the entire concept of the idea of “friendliness”. Why should he be nice to someone that wouldn’t even give him the time of day? He shouldn’t, is the answer to that question. But there were sometimes that he had to be friendly, for the sake of maybe one person that he seemed to care about just the littlest bit in the cold, dead place he called a heart. It may be a big surprise, but he does have one. It may be clouded by lust and the small amount of infatuation he has for anyone with a pulse, but it’s there. But here he was, sitting at the end of the lunch table and giving the most unshady side eyes he could muster, the look on his face resembling someone who really wanted someone to know he was giving them the dirtiest side eyes.

Now, who were these side eyes directed at? Why, the only couple at the table so in love that it made him sick to his stomach every time he saw how close they were.

He didn’t deserve her; that rat bastard didn’t deserve anyone as good and as sweet as her. Kurloz Fucking Makara, the mute mime-looking motherfucker that Cronus could not for the life of him stand. Cronus was terrified of him, let's get that out there, but he still hated that clown’s guts. He could say so much about that motherfucker, but he had one piece of shade that would always remain in his head, even if he could never say it to the guy’s face: How he looked like someone that walked into Hot Topic and let all the little 12 year old scene girls do his makeup. 2001 called, and boy do they want their raccoon eyeliner back.

Of course, he did have his reasoning to hate this guy. Everyone has reasons for things. His was the usual thing every teenager felt. You know, the “his dad tried to kill my dad and pretty much gave him Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after a stunt he knew was bullshit” kind. His bitch of a mother, using that guy’s dad to fake her death in front of his father’s own face just so she could run off with his step sister to who knows where. He knows it was fake, he feels it in his bones, no, in his soul, that that was just a stunt to swindle him one last time. Not to mention that they were just from two separate gangs or whatever you wanna call them. But it was still just normal teenager stuff right? Probably.

But. But, there was something much better to look at right next to that freak of a man. Meulin Leijon. Now she was a dame. She was small, beautiful, and had a rockin’ body. She was pretty much a perfect looking girl, in her own really cute way. He couldn’t help but stare at her in health class, and always try to partner with her in gym, which he mostly succeeded in, except for the few times someone nabbed her first because of how good she was at sports that involved being quick on her feet. It was actually kind of embarrassing that this 5’ girl can outrun a 6’3” guy like him. If it wasn’t for that ear-achingly loud voice, and the mime freakazoid, he’d already be trying to win her over. Well, it’s not like he hasn’t tried before, even if it was a spectacular failure. Newsflash, Cronus: it's a bad idea to write songs for the hard-of-hearing girl before she has her hearing aids.

God, he just couldn’t get that girl out of his head. Her beautiful long dark hair with that little bit of wave and curl in it, her adorable constantly tan skin with the dark freckles adorning her cheeks, and her sense of empathy and optimism where she’d be the only one to show at your birthday party even if you were already over the whole thing, and didn’t wanna have it anymore, so it's just you and her, and you get so, so close to kissing her, but then your dad comes in, and you both throw yourselves to each end of the couch in your living room and laugh about it later because you’re both having such a good time. But now wasn’t the time to be thinking about his 8th grade birthday party.

A snap filled his ears as he quickly shook his head and looked around. Someone snapped their fingers in front of his face, and it only took him a moment to see who it was. Snickering, Meenah Peixes waved and stuck a finger down her throat in a “god, I might just puke” motion to simulate that the canoodling couple was just making her sick.

“Why ya starin’ at them like that? Wishin’ you were him or somefin’? Always lookin’ over there, gettin’ that dumb look on your face, I can’t stand it.” Meenah spoke loud and proud, fixing her glasses as she gave Cronus the look of usual disgust that she always gave him.

“Now now doll, it ain’t like that at all, I can tell ya. My eyes just drift over there, I swear! ‘Sides, even if I did wanna be him, which I don’t…alright I won’t even finish that sentence.” Cronus responded while rolling his eyes and giving his usual silly accent while he spoke. He didn’t need this right now at all.

“Psh, boi bye,” was all Meenah said, before raising a hand to signal the conversation was over, turning her head to talk to Latula and Aranea.

And with that, Cronus decided he really needed to smoke, and not that dumb vapor stuff everyone is doing now though. He needed to feel that real burning sensation in his lungs, and not some mystic water-science bullshit. Standing up, he patted at his pockets until he felt his pack of Marlboros in his back pocket. Getting up from the table, he moved over to the other side and patted at Meulin’s head. Knowing that physical contact was okay with her, he always touched her, one way or another. She quickly pulled away from Kurloz and smiled up at Cronus with that same adorable smile she always did.

Cronus bent over and “got to her level”, as he called it, and spoke quietly into her ear. “Hey Kitten, I gotta go out for a bit. You wanna grab some fresh air with me? You can come back and snuggle up with your man, I promise. Or well.. purromise.” Knowing her love for cat based puns, he knew he won her favor this time as she hopped up and grabbed onto his arm.

“Yesss!! That sounds great, let’s go!” Meulin said happily with a loud squeal, not noticing the dirty look Kurloz was giving Cronus as she started to tug him outside to the little area they were allowed to go to during lunch.

Cronus almost tripped, forgetting how strong Meulin could be, his feet moving slowly to try and keep her pace, and sometimes twisting over each other without him thinking. Though, after a few moments, he picked up his pace and got a full stride going in his walk, just to see her hurry to try and keep up. Keeping this up for a few more long strides, they reached his usual smoking spot, the two moving to stand underneath the out of place oak tree in the otherwise barren front of the school. He reaches into his back pocket to grab at his pack of cigarettes, sticking one of the well known cancer sticks into his mouth, and patting around again to find his lighter, before just remembering it was in his jacket pocket.

That’s right, his jacket. The same jacket he always wore, even on the hottest of days. The only thing making it different than the ones you can buy in any trendy fashion store was the two crossed seahorse shaped rifles with the words “Orphaner” across his shoulder blades. That’s what really made him different from that animal of a guy. He had style, he had grace. That guy just has a funny face. No, no, that’s a line from some video game. He wasn’t about that video game life, why was that in his head? Giving a sigh, he lit the cigarette and took a long drag, a smile coming to his lips as he felt the sensation of smoke filling his lungs. He loved that choking feeling that always happens when he doesn’t smoke for a while and finally gets his nicotine fix. Blowing out the smoke, he put a hand on Meulin’s head, and patted her hair lightly, speaking to her in a sweet tone.

“Doll, can I be real with you for a second? I don’t want you to get mad at me considerin’ you’re like, the only person that sorta likes me and actually maybe thinks of me as a friend. So I don’t wanna compromise that an’ stuff, but this has been itchin’ at me for a while, you dig?”

Meulin looked over and smiled, before giving a nod, “Yeah sure!! Don’t keep stuff from me, you know to never do that!”

And with that response, Cronus gave a small sigh. Better get this out now than wait and regret it. Now or never, better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Alright here we go, let's do this.


	2. Courage In A Cigarette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She was probably just confused and didn’t know what to do in the situation, if he ruined their friendship he was never going to forgive himself."

Kicking up a dirt clod Cronus looked up at the leaves on the old tree, that tree has probably been alive longer than anything else in this god forsaken town. Taking another drag of his cigarette he held the smoke in as it filled and burned at his probably tar filled lungs. Blowing the smoke from his nose he continued to pet at Meulin’s hair, remembering that she enjoyed having her hair played with, it was the little things about her he remembered. It felt like forever since he spoke up again, he just said to himself that he’d tell her how he felt, and now he was just wanting to shut his mouth again. Damn, he hated this feeling. 

"Well, I mean, heh.” Cronus said with an awkward smile, moving his hand to lightly pull Meulin closer to him and attempt to wrap an arm around the small girl. Meulin looked up at him with that same smile still on her face, come on Cronus just talk to her. “I just.. I don’t like you bein’ with Kurloz” He spit at the ground in disgust at just uttering his name before continuing. “He’s doing you wrong and I know it, I’m not sayin’ that I’m a better suitor or any of that cliché ‘leave him and come be with me’ nonsense, I mean, that’d be cool as ice and all, but…” He took a breath as he trailed off before finding his spot again. “I just don’t want you to get wrapped up in that shit that he’s involved in. You’re too sweet of a gal is all, okay?” 

A small gust of wind blew while he finished his statement, clicking his tongue he watched Meulin shiver and wrap her arms around herself. It seemed neither of them were properly prepared for the coming cold fronts that were forecasted all throughout the week, but his dad said that weather forecasters could never be trusted anyways, so he never even cared if someone said the weather was going to be bad. Without hesitation Cronus took off his jacket and wrapped it around Meulin’s shoulders, he didn’t want her to be cold, and would rather his skin turn blue than see her shivering. Goosebumps started to form on his bare arms, oh greaser aesthetic the things he does to look cool. His white tank top clung to his skin as he just looked at her, continuing to smoke before giving her a smile.

The silence was awkward, but what isn’t awkward is jokes, so he cracked a small joke and ruffled her hair. “What, I know cats don’t like the cold, but god kitten this is ridiculous!” Giving a smile akin to a boy from a TV show after telling a horrible joke while holding pancakes in his hands. Thankfully God himself was on his side, screw you lady luck we know you’re blind.

Meulin finally laughed, her sickly sweet giggle making his ice cold body heat while his heart raced once more. The pounding in his ears almost blocking out her response with how hard it was beating. But he caught it, oh god he caught it. “I don’t know what you mean, Catnip. Sure! I do forget a lot of the times I’m with him! My mouth gets all salty and when I wake up my clothes are all ruffled. But, we do get like… high! That’s our thing!” She looked to be getting lost in her words, as she usually did since she relearned to talk in 7th grade, god did he have an obsession or what? And that nickname, she had little nicknames for everyone. Yet, he still felt very special just for having one. He even had one for her, Pomade. The grease in his hair that he always put in to look good, in some weird way it can show that she's the reason he wanted to look good in the first place.

Wait, what? Her mouth gets salty and her clothes are ruffled? No, no just block that out for now. Don’t start a fight today. Trying to block out the raging thoughts in his head he quickly turned to actually pull her against him into a tight embrace. His breathing ragged while his hands were doing their best to try to pick her up. Which they succeeded in as he held her and leaned back against the tree, his head nuzzling into her shoulder. This was so unlike him, Cronus Ampora the babe magnet who would never be caught dead showing true sympathy and caring holding Meulin for dear life itself.

She didn’t mind from how she wasn’t trying to push him away, she was even holding him back. She was probably just confused and didn’t know what to do in the situation, if he ruined their friendship he was never going to forgive himself.


End file.
